You say potato I say what the fuck was that?

I was looking for the lid to a pot to make some rice. While I'm waiting for my student loan to come in I did some calculations and I think I can survive on rice and ketchup that I can collect from various gas stations and fast food restaurants. I looked in the cabinet and I saw what looked like a potato. I thought to myself hmm... I really hadn't had any potatoes for a long time. I used the end of a cookie sheet to try to scoot the potato out. Well, it really had been a long time since I had potatoes and this potato turned to a liquid, disgusting, gushing, putrid mess. I immediately gagged and vomed a little in my mouth. I tried to quickly clean it up with paper towel and it was nasty McNasty of the nastiest nasties. I had some industrial sized antibiotic wipes that I got from Costco. The smell of an old Asian grocery store still lingers in my apartment. I lit candles did a little "Oust"ing. The smell rivaled the Gypsies on the train from Berlin to Prague, OK well maybe not THAT bad but unpleasant to say the least.