It takes a village to get Eric laid

And it didn't even happen.

We were at club D.B.A. on Frenchmen St. For those of you that have not been to D.B.A., know that it's a bad ass place to catch some awesome music. This night, it was a blues band complete with two guitar players, a bassist, drummer, trumpet player and saxophonist. As the night progresses Eric spies a young lady who looks suspiciously like his ex girlfriend and it's on. He's doing everything right. Chattin' up the ladies like an old school smooth operator. smmmoooooth oooperatoor. The night moves on and most of the people from our group tire out and head home. There are three girls, myself and another stay behind to offer "moral support" or perhaps "immoral support" depending on your views. One of the girls was being an anchor and was going to bail taking the whole ship down with her. When the anchor rejoined the group I chatted her up. She wanted to go home and wanted me to escort her. Before you even think it. NO. Knowing she is the anchor I gladly got her out of the picture so my boy Eric can, you know, do his thing. I take her home to her hotel and she says "um....what's your name?.....Look me up on facebook or something." Right I talked to you for a total of 10 minutes, that doesn't qualify you facebook status. Maybe in some circumstances, but not this one. I go home in the taxi and give the guy $8 for a $9 taxi ride. I talked to him and he was cool, so he was also ok with me shorting him. I get home and crash. Meanwhile, back at the bar.....Eric and Andy are doing whatever and make their way home after a while. Andy crashes and Eric is trying to pace the house like a ninja but more like a clumsy drunk. I think the cellphone/flashlight is to blame. Come to find out the ladies are on their way. Eric leans close to the bed where I'm sleeping,and whispers "hey...um...J-J-Jay,um..aah.....would it.... aahh ...I mean, ....ummm.....aahh (at this point I already know what he wants but think it's hilarious that he is whispering and stumbling over his words, so I let him continue) aahh.....If ..If this thing .....you know.....if it goes down.....aaah do you think....I mean ....would you mind.....aah ...if Patrick....ummm....came and slept here. Eric's girl comes and so does her friend. Eric tries to find a place for her to sleep so he can take the other girl to pound town. Eitan is sleeping on the couch..."um Eitan...ahh." Eitan says in a slumber stupor ..."why don't you use the big bed upstairs where you have more privacy." Totally busted up the groove. I had to get up the next day to go to my volunteer place. As I was slowly waking up and waiting for my turn in the shower. "wwhhhaaaaaoooopppp, whaaaaaoooooop. Hut hut whaaaappp.....garble garble." Little beknownst to any of us, one guy makes a hilarious sound when he pukes and he likes to pee in places that aren't the bathroom. The floor pisser is also a puker. He puked into a garbage can in the shower. It was my turn next.....I couldn't figure out what those things were floating in the shower........PICKLES. When I got out of the shower, Eric's door was cracked open. He gave me the thumbs up, while wearing his jeans and having the covers stolen from him by the two chicks in the bed. THE END